Home > Judo, Life > Commit.

Commit.

It was one of those days when I didn’t want to go. I wanted to leave work when work was done. I wanted to leave with nowhere else to go. I wanted to be free and spontaneous. I didn’t want to go to judo practice. Another job. Another responsibility. Another commitment. I didn’t want that. But habits are strong. I knew what would happen if I went back home. For a moment, I’d feel relief. For a moment. Then I’d feel all the stress, all the anger, all the day’s indignation and frustration build in each muscle fiber. Habits soothe, but they can also enslave. I can’t break the habit. It’s too hard. I can’t enjoy a Thursday evening of spring weather because of habit. Angry with myself, I got on the bus. I got on the bus to judo practice. I breathed and resigned, helpless and resentful.

Slowly, the work clothes came off. Slowly I changed into my gear, but I did not put on my gi. When I put my gi on, I’d feel the weight of routine. But when I put the gi and and when I tied my belt, I was different. I was a student. I was a quiet warrior. When it came time for randori, I thought of my judo goal. My judo goal is to commit when I throw. Even if I fall on my face. Commit to my throw. Create the opportunity and commit.

It was one of those days when I didn’t want to go. I wanted to leave work when work was done.  I didn’t want to go to judo practice. I didn’t want another commitment. But with each explosive movement, each muscle fiber released the day’s indignation and frustration. I just thought about commitment. Commit to the throw. Commit to judo. Commit to my practice. Commit to myself. Even if I fall on my face.

 

Advertisements
  1. Nicole
    May 1, 2014 at 22:22

    Consistency is key. You have found a good landing strip for yourself when your work day is over.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: