Archive for February, 2014

Haikuesday 02.25.14

February 25, 2014 Leave a comment

Rip the band-aid off,

and get the hard thing over with.

Then you feel so light.


Haikuesday 02.18.14

February 18, 2014 Leave a comment


My sly fox.

My sly fox.





Me and my Big Coz

went to the tattoo parlour.

We had so much fun.

NoNo's compass, the family tattoo.

NoNo’s compass, the family tattoo.

Valentine’s is for friends.

February 14, 2014 Leave a comment


As an adult, I never really understood Valentine’s Day. When I was in a long-term relationship, I always faced it like an awkward obligation. “Oh, It’s February 14th. I guess we should do something?” My ex-boyfriend and I were actually pretty nice to each other on the regular, so Valentine’s Day never felt necessary. It was more like another reason to get sushi.

When I was kid, though, Valentine’s Day was one of my favorites. I loved scheming about how I would show all my buddies my love for them. Homemade cards? Store bought? Should I bring in candy? But what candy? And of course, just as much as I relished passing out my little treats to my friends, I loved seeing my own pile of cards and candy slowly grow. The planning, the exchange, that’s what I loved.

I’ve been single for a while now, and that’s been cool with me. Since Valentine’s hasn’t been significant, it’s been pretty easy to overlook the last couple of years. However, I like celebrating. I especially like celebrating the people I care about. I’m very much looking forward to going to my cousins’ for breakfast tomorrow morning and then baking some one-day-late Valentine’s Day cookies with my little cousin.

I thought today, the real Valentine’s Day, wouldn’t be special at all. I’ve been  home sick these past two days, staring out the window while the snow accumulates and melts. Today, I’ve been feeling antsy and annoyed by my low energy and lack of face-to-face human interaction.  Earlier today, my friend and jiu jitsu training buddy told me about an online contest to win a free gi. You could enter your boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, or training partner. In the entry, you had to write three things about the person explaining why they deserved a new gi. She told me her boyfriend entered her in the contest. Then she sent me a link to all the entries. I realized, flattered and stunned, that she entered me in the contest. As I read what my buddy wrote about me, my throat started to swell and I could feel the tears in my eyes. I know my friend and I are close–on and off the mat–but I felt overwhelmed to see myself through her eyes. Almost immediately, I wrote my own entry for her. There was no sense of obligation, just some giddy excitement to have the opportunity to gush about the things I admire about my friend and training buddy.

I was in relationship for seven years. That’s seven Valentine’s Days. This exchange with my friend was undoubtedly the most meaningful I’ve had on February 14th in my adult life. And what’s a life without friends?

Haikuesday 02.11.14

February 11, 2014 Leave a comment

There’s nothing harder

than taking my own advice.

Call my Hypocrite.

Haikuesday 02.04.14

February 4, 2014 1 comment

I’d like to accept

that when I have these hard days,

it’s not my weakness.

Talk about it.

February 3, 2014 1 comment
These are some questions I should ask myself as a clinician to help me talk about suicide.

These are some questions I should ask myself as a clinician to help me talk about suicide.

Mental health plays a massive part in both my personal and professional life. I’ve written a lot here about my mother’s struggle with borderline personality disorder, depression, and her eventual suicide.  I’ve done my best to share my own issues with anxiety, loss, and trauma. As a social worker, I am neck-deep in depression, anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, substance abuse, and a variety of other emotional and behavioral issues. My work in mental health has taught me how profoundly alone people feel in their struggles. By providing psycho-education for my clients, I have the chance to normalize their experiences with pain, hopeless and isolation. I work with them so they can feel empowered to take charge of their well-being. We also try to come up with ways for them to share what they’ve learned with others. So often, the act of giving back serves as a powerful factor in a person’s coping and healing.

This Wednesday, I have a chance to do some giving back of my own. My friend, Brandi, is organizing a social media campaign to connect all of us out there who have been impacted by depression . The hope is to alleviate the taboo and stigma around mental illness. Brandi’s campaign, #DayOfLight, will take place this Wednesday, February 5th. I will support Brandi by sharing my professional knowledge on how individuals can seek mental health treatment, advocate for themselves, and participate in peer support. I’m so excited to be a part of this campaign because I’m tired of us treating our mental health and emotional struggles like inconveniences that should be kept secret. I don’t want to perpetuate cycles of shame and self-hate. So I’m going to be a part of the conversation.

If you want to learn more about the #DayOfLight, go here.