Home > Life > Another line.

Another line.

The other night, I wrote an off-the-cuff Facebook status in which I remarked, “I tend to walk the line between commitment and stupidity.” At the time, I was referring to the fact that I showed up for judo and jiu jitsu class even though I hurt my hip for the nine billionth time two nights before and could not really use my right leg without significant pain. Like way more than the acceptable, normal amount of pain that you feel during practice. After about 45 minutes, I realized I was doing myself no favors and needed to go home before I made everything worse. I showed up for practice because I have a tournament coming up in two weeks, and I wanted to get in some work. Missing class felt lazy and neglectful, but I won’t give myself a fair chance in competition if I’m not healed. It’s common sense, really.

Then last night, I went out to dinner with one of my teammates. While sitting in a no-frills tiny restaurant specializing in magical roast beef sandwiches, complete with checked tablecloths and waitresses who call you “hon”, she and I eventually started talking about dudes and relationships. I commented that I think in relationships, I try so hard to make it work even though I know I’m not with right person. My teammate remarked, “Huh, another line to walk.” I gave her a puzzled look, and she said, “Another line between commitment and stupidity.” I was taken aback when she connected those dots for me. It makes sense, however, that I would take the same approach to work, training, relationships, and probably other parts of my life that I’m forgetting about now. I can theorize why I’m like this and tie it all back to my childhood and family systems and all that stuff, but at this point, I think all that matters is that I stay aware of this line and start thinking about how to keep my balance.

It’s amazing how gravy and hot peppers can lead to revelations.

  1. May 4, 2013 at 17:04


  2. Amy Sho-Jo
    May 11, 2013 at 15:10

    That is a revelation, indeed!

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