Home > Judo > Getting there.

Getting there.

This past Friday, I went to an open mat at a nearby judo club. Now, I’d been looking forward to this for weeks. Open mats are a great night to work with people you don’t normally train with and you have two to three hours to go as many rounds as you want. Since my grandmom died almost two weeks ago, I was thinking that I needed a good night of balls-out judo. Open mat would be perfect to indulge my smashy feelings.

As with every open mat, I started to feel nervous in the hour leading up to it. Sometimes I get really self-conscious about my skill-level, especially since I became a brown belt. I know I’m not supposed to care what other people think and belts don’t matter, but sometimes I can’t help it. I worry that my skill level doesn’t match my belt. So as I entered the club, I began to feel my confidence waning. I thought I would sit out the first round to watch and let myself get comfortable. Of course, this was really just me trying to avoid my fears. I could sit and watch the first 10 rounds and still feel nervous.

But somehow, I didn’t sit the first round. I went with a girl from the host club that I’d gone with before and saw that she also recently got her brown belt. She had great energy and we had a really fun match. As we bowed out, we smiled in gratitude for good round and slapped hands. I remembered that I love judo because it’s one of the most fun things in the world to me. There was a black belt woman there whom I’d never met before. After a moment’s pause, I went up to her, introduced myself, and asked her to go the next round. She agreed. Of course, she trounced me, but again, the energy between us was awesome.

The rest of my matches followed suit. No matter if I got in a throw or not, I could feel that my partners and I were both full of passion for the sport we love and were having a blast. I also felt mutual respect. I admired my partners for their advanced skill and technique and based on their positive feedback, it seemed like they appreciated that I could still give them a decent fight even if I’m not quite at their level.

That was a good feeling. I started to think that maybe I do have some potential. Perhaps the thing that will help me unlock it will be a conscious, unrelenting effort to give judo everything I have and accept all it has to offer me.

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Categories: Judo Tags: , , , , , ,
  1. February 26, 2012 at 16:30

    balls out judo! that is what I do when I have alot going on too! No I don’t. I chant. But anyway, I am just in a silly mood. Love you Lore and your beautiful journey.

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