Home > Family, Life, Listening, love > “It all comes together.”

“It all comes together.”

Right now, I am sitting in a ridiculously nice hotel room in Miami Beach feeling as calm as can be. A few hours, earlier, however, I was a wreck. I am in Miami for my cousin’s wedding and I’m one of the bridesmaids. I’d been feeling some guilt and anxiety about being in the wedding party since I felt like I haven’t really been pulling my weight as a bridesmaid. Sure, I live pretty far away, but I know being a grad student decreases my ability to act like a responsible adult significantly. I was feeling stressed out because I was going to miss the rehearsal, too. Of course, my cousin and his girlfriend said it was no big deal. Just meet up with us for the rehearsal dinner, they said. Take your time.

That sounded easy enough.

However, by the time my dad, his girlfriend, and I got to our hotel, I had 45 minutes before the rehearsal dinner started. I had the address of where to go, but I had no idea where it was in relationship to our hotel. I figured it couldn’t be that far. I asked the front desk to call me a cab.

Well, it turned out the rehearsal dinner was pretty far. The cab driver wasn’t quite sure where to go and his GPS was broken. He kept driving and driving and it got later and later. I quietly started to freak out. Then the cab driver said he was going to pull over and ask for directions. My internal freak out escalated as I realized I probably wouldn’t have enough cash by the time we actually arrived and the cab didn’t take cards. The cab driver came back from asking directions and was still confused. I called my cousin. “What? Why are you taking a cab? Where are you? I’ll come get you.” Five minutes later, my cousin and his mom, who is really like my auntie, pulled into the Walgreen’s parking lot where I was waiting. After a round of hugs, I began to relax.

When we got to the rehearsal dinner, which was a super informal gather at my cousin’s fiance’s childhood home, I realized that my internal freak out was for naught. Dinner hadn’t started. The bride wasn’t there yet. I don’t think any of my cousin’s groomsmen had made it to the rehearsal and still weren’t in town.

While my auntie and I chatted, the bride arrived and more people filed in. Cognac was poured. Teasing commenced. Little kids chased each other around. A feast of home-cooked Jamaican food was laid out. As I looked around at my family members and then at my cousin’s girlfriend’s mom, grandparents, cousins, and childhood friends, I realized that my family just got bigger. My world just got bigger.  I felt at peace.

Of course, the cognac and the oxtail stew didn’t hurt, either.

Categories: Family, Life, Listening, love
  1. December 12, 2011 at 23:00

    Ugh. I go through this all of the time. In fact, anytime I have to go anywhere, I feel a bit of anxiety. If I was in a hypochondriatic (?) mood, I’d say I have a touch of agoraphobia. But whenever I get to wherever I have to go, it’s never the type of situation that I should have been stressing about anyway. I’m glad you found peace, and I’m so happy you had fun at the wedding!

    • December 13, 2011 at 16:08

      I think you might have social anxiety! 😉

      But yeah, it was a lot of freak out for nothing. Family can both stress you and calm you down like no other people on the planet.

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