Home > Injuries, Judo, Life, philosophy > Is someone trying to tell me something?

Is someone trying to tell me something?

Since last Thursday evening, I’ve been in a wretched, wall-punching mood. During last Thursday’s training, I ended up overdoing things and my hip actually hurt-hurt for the first time in maybe two months. I was really pissed off at myself because I knew I was done for the night as I applied ice to my injury 45 minutes into judo class. The night went on to get pretty weird, with one of my teammates’ neck accidentally getting rolled by his partner during randori. (He was OK–it was just scary for a moment there.) Then as I went to leave for the night, I discovered someone must have worn my flip flops home by mistake. For some reason, the trivial act of someone accidentally taking my flip flops home put me over the edge.

Friday morning, I didn’t feel much better. Neither did I on Saturday. When Sunday rolled around, I begrudgingly skipped practice and did the same Monday night. I know my faulty brain: if I show up to practice, I’ll just keep going until it hurts enough that I think I might cry, and only the shame of crying in front of other people will make me stop. Staying away from the mat completely is really the only way I can protect myself from myself sometimes.

This brings me to today. I’m not sure if I’m sold on the concept of fate and that “everything happens for a reason”, mostly because I think it’s up to us as individuals to create our own reason and direction from chaos. Anyway, I had a good morning workout so I felt hopeful about having a good practice tonight. Not going to practice two days in a row put me in such a miserable, guilty frame of mind that I was looking forward to expelling that all away. However, a nice late lunch with a school buddy in the hot sun led to me puking my guts out from 4PM -5PM. Practice starts at 6PM. While I considered going anyway for about 20 seconds, I remembered that I was now pretty dehydrated and would probably go further down hill once I changed into my gear in my toasty dojo. So here I am, missing practice three days in a row and feeling like a degenerate playing hooky from school to smoke cigarettes and play pinball.

Considering that the hip is a pretty important body part which I will need for the rest of my life, perhaps it’s not the worse thing that I have to give my body another night of rest and recovery. Of course, I’m just trying to find the bright side to the puking + missing practice combo. Otherwise, I could end up putting my money where my mouth is on that whole wall-punching thing. Since I’m a renter, property damage is another thing that is not in my best interest.

Categories: Injuries, Judo, Life, philosophy
  1. Miles
    August 16, 2011 at 19:32

    If nursing a sore hip and puking up your lunch is your idea of degenerately playing pinball while skipping school, remind me never to hit the arcade with you. There’s poetry in your self punishment though: to avoid beating yourself up you’ve stayed home for a few nights… and beat yourself up about it.

    I don’t drink at all… but hell Lori, go crack open a cold one!

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