Home > Challenges, Life, School > Making a list, checking it twice…for perspective.

Making a list, checking it twice…for perspective.

One of my favorite things to do is to worry incessantly over things that 1) most likely have an easy solution and 2) are so far in the future that worrying about them is pointless since so many variable can change over time.  Of course, it’s no fun if I’m preoccupied by only one thing; it’s best to have several. Then I can get that real feeling of panicky nervousness.

I suppose since I still have underlying guilt for not working this summer, my brain thinks it’s time for me to feel stressed out. It’s chosen these items to fret over:

1. Packing. And even worse, unpacking.

2. Going to the suburbs to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress without anyone else in the bridal party and accidentally selecting the wrong dress.

3. Missing judo practice most of next week because I’m going to visit friends in New England.

4. Feeling like a jerk for caring that I”m going to miss practice instead of simply being excited to see friends that I haven’t seen in 1-3 years.

5. Realizing that I will be able to go to one practice while I’m visiting a childhood judo pal, but dreading not being able to go a full practice because of my hip and looking like a wuss.

6. The fact that at my follow-up appointment yesterday, the doctor said my hip will need another two months to fully recover.

7.  If my hip is still screwed up for the next two months, can I still make my practices quality enough so I can compete in the fall?

8. Will I actually be able to compete in the fall with school going on?

9. I have four weddings to attend in the fall. Two take place on the same weekend. These are genuinely friends and family that I love a lot, so I would never want to miss out on on their weddings. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if I can really be organized enough to go to these weddings without any impact on my schooling.

10.  Worrying about worrying about school on July 14th when classes don’t even start until maybe September 7th.

So, like my goals, I like to have both short-term and long-term sources of anxiety. Packing and moving? Not even close to being a big deal. Getting a dress ordered? Also really not a big deal. And everything else on that list are all things that require me to calm down for about five seconds. There are certain things in life that we can’t control, but I think most of the other stuff we can. I am in control of how well my hip heals. I am in control of how well I manage my time during the school year. Of course, it’s usually hard for me to prioritize between school, judo, and my personal life. Sometimes I think I’ll use on to distract me from the other two. But I have only one year left of school. While I want to do extremely well and finish with a bang, I also want to feel slightly less manic than last year. I suppose one of my long-term goals will be to establish a perfect triangle so the three major components of my life don’t induce future lists of irrational worries.

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Categories: Challenges, Life, School
  1. Miles
    July 14, 2011 at 15:21

    I’m sorry that I’ve only contributed to just 1 of these 10 stress-inducers. Considering how much you love anxiety, I feel like a slacker. I really should up my game and bring as much of it into your life as I can.

    • July 14, 2011 at 15:45

      Miles, as you pointed out to me earlier, you’re one of my most long-lasting friends. You’re just doing your job and keeping me on my toes. And I’m going to my job and cheer you and Gracy on. This thing’s been, what, 12 years in the making? October can’t come soon enough!

  2. Miles
    July 14, 2011 at 19:43

    Nonetheless, I think we’ll uninvite and reinvite you a few times before then, just to further enable your stress addiction.

  3. Anita G.
  4. July 19, 2011 at 23:09

    Ha! Exactly, Anita. Exactly.

  5. July 20, 2011 at 13:12

    Ugh! Don’t get me started thinking about things that I worry about that I don’t need to worry about. My biggest issue? Being worried about not worrying about something that I should be worrying about that I don’t know about. “Wait, is there something I should be worrying about?!?” Yeah. I need a chill pill.

  6. July 20, 2011 at 21:24

    Yes, Brandi! Did you click on Anita’s link? It sums us up perfectly.

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